“Once a human being has arrived on this earth, communication is the largest single factor determining what kinds of relationships he makes with others and what happens to him in the world about him.”
-- Virginia Satir

How do you typically communicate with others?

• Is it through words, gestures, emotions, thoughts, desires, needs, truths, direct perception or intuition?
• Do you focus more on the other person or on yourself?
• Do you typically tell, ask or listen?
• How do your communication skills and styles vary, depending on who you’re talking with?
• How often do you really engage with people rather than just skimming the surface and going through the motions?

STOP and read that last paragraph over again and honestly answer each question.

Busyness and speed – two dominant aspects of our world today – tend to block meaningful communication. If we’re always in motion, always focused on what’s going to happen next, we don’t remember to really stop and be present. We don’t make the effort to really look at the other and open our minds and hearts to invite connection.

Lack of self esteem also sabotages open and deep communication. If we’re feeling defensive, self conscious, fearful or inadequate, we’re too barricaded behind our own thoughts and emotions to truly connect with anyone else. And then we wonder why life feels so unsatisfying.

For a few days, set an intention to be aware of your communication motives, styles and skills. After you’ve spent some time talking with someone, reflect on what happened. What were your underlying motives in being with them? How deeply and honestly did you connect? Write your insights in your journal. This will help you become more aware and conscious of who you are in relationship and why you do what you do.

There’s a whole new frontier here. It’s worth exploring!

If you would like to deepen your connection with others, we invite you to explore these two resources:

Conversation Starters and Tips - Develop confidence in connecting with others
10 Tools to Improve Communication Skills – Experience more depth, intimacy and joy

~ John and Patrice

“We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversation with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk.”
-- Thomas Moore

“You must speak straight so that your words may go as sunlight to our hearts.”
-- Cochise